Before You Order
Quick reality check (and a small amount of nonsense):
Candidate Sincerity & Lack of Merit Questionnaire
- Have you, at least once in your life, looked at a crow and thought, “Yeah… he gets it”?
- Are you ordering this document with a functioning sense of humor and at least mild intentions to subtly torment a coworker, neighbor, or sibling?
- Do you understand that Crow University degrees are novelty certificates issued for entertainment and display purposes only — impressive on a wall, but not for résumé submission?
- Do you acknowledge that this document is not accredited by any government-recognized academic authority, confers no academic credit or professional standing of any kind, and cannot be used for employment, licensure, immigration, medical procedures, legal arguments, or other serious life decisions?
- Do you agree not to present this certificate as a legitimately earned academic credential in professional or legal settings — while fully reserving the right to wave it around at dinner parties for comedic emphasis?
By proceeding, you affirm that your answers have been telepathically transmitted to Crow University and that you fully understand this is parody and entertainment only.
What You’ll Need
To process your request, we need the following information:
- The exact name to be printed on the certificate.
- The degree title you want from the Degrees page.
- How you want any initials or post-nominal letters to appear (for example, “Ph.D. in Crowology,” “D.Crow.”, etc.).
- Your preferred delivery email address for the finished certificate.
- Optional: a short note explaining why you are uniquely worthy of this questionable honor.
How to Place Your Order
All orders are handled through the Crow University helpdesk, quietly powered by GulfHost:
- Click Certify & Start Request to open a pre-filled email request.
- Send the email. We’ll reply confirming your request is in the queue.
Price & Delivery
- Total Price: $5 for the digital package.
- Delivery: one PDF certificate sent to the email address you provide.
- Invoiced through GulfHost as a “Digital Document Service.” No subscriptions. No surprise fees. No student loans.
Bonus (Optional, Highly Unnecessary)
If you place the palm of your hand on your forehead and say “crow” three times, you are automatically inducted into our super-secret elite club — reserved exclusively for those clever enough not to take themselves too seriously.
Absolutely no cost to you, no certificate, no card, no meetings — just the quiet satisfaction of knowing you get the joke.
Recognition Note
All degrees are issued through our online document publisher and are recognized by the International Association of Fake Universities (IAFU). Digital fulfillment and delivery are handled by GulfHost as our digital fulfillment vendor. This recognition is recognized by exactly the number of institutions you would expect.
Crow Seminary is housed on the CrowU campus and serves as our ceremonial seminary.
Ordinations, absolution, titles, and the Honorary Doctor of Divinity (D.D.) are offered through Crow Seminary.
Novelty Certificate Disclaimer
These highly coveted certificates — and any degree titles — are for entertainment only. They are not intended for, nor may they be used in, any scheme, scam, shenanigan, hoodwink, bamboozle, or act of dishonesty. Use them entirely at your own risk. Nothing here is implied, unimplied, promised, guaranteed, warranted, certified, notarized, blessed, sanctified, or even mildly suggested. Crow University accepts no responsibility for any trouble, confusion, global destabilization, identity crises, or awkward family gatherings resulting from misuse.
Furthermore, no creatures—living, inanimate, or conceptually baffling—including puppies, kittens, crows, sloths (regardless of toe count), dolphins, garden gnomes, pandas, giraffes, gazelles, pelicans, or any being possessing (or notably lacking) feathers, fins, fur, or scales, were in any way harmed, annoyed, ordained, consulted, absolved, given existential dread, or emotionally impacted during the creation of this website or its documents.
