Pick Your Degree
Abbreviation first, because we know why you're really here.
All degrees and credentials are honorary, ceremonial, and satirical in nature. They carry no academic, professional, or legal standing.
Yeah, baby. This is it.
You have arrived.
Don't See the Degree You Want?
Make up your own.
Seriously. We made these up. You can too.
Make Up My Own Degree →
The Workplace Survival Guide
Everybody encounters it.
Some manage it.
Some weaponize it.
Some accidentally become it.
We all have to endure it.
We might as well enjoy it.
Certificate Preview
Example of the Crow University ceremonial certificate (preview only):
Certificate Preview
Free & Self-Service
Total Price: $0. As free as anything you’ll ever get in this life.
Choose a degree above, open the fillable Crow University certificate, type the recipient’s name, degree or ceremonial title, and date, then save or print it yourself.
No invoice. No email request. No fulfillment queue. No student loans.
How Degrees Are Awarded
There are no classes, no exams, and no homework. Meeting CrowU’s rigorous criteria generally involves (1) someone existing, (2) someone deciding they deserve a degree, and (3) nobody turning this into anything remotely official.
Novelty Certificate Disclaimer
These highly coveted certificates — and any degree titles — are for entertainment only. They are not intended for, nor may they be used in, any scheme, scam, shenanigan, hoodwink, bamboozle, or act of dishonesty. Use them entirely at your own risk.
Furthermore, no creatures—living, inanimate, or conceptually baffling—including puppies, kittens, crows, sloths, dolphins, garden gnomes, pandas, giraffes, gazelles, pelicans, or any being possessing (or notably lacking) feathers, fins, fur, or scales, were harmed, annoyed, ordained, consulted, absolved, or given existential dread during the creation of this website.
Ceremonial & Spiritual Offerings: Ordinations, absolution, titles, and the Doctor of Divinity (D.D.) are administered separately through Crow Seminary .